The story of Lazarus was still going through my mind as I placed baby Kayla into the car that day, not knowing if I would ever see her again.
As I pondered the events of that story I thought of what Jesus said to Martha when she was mourning her loss…
“Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” John 11:40
How powerful is our faith?
“For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.” Mark 11:23
Faith moves mountains!
There was nothing I could do or say that would bring Kayla back.
The only thing I could do was to “believe.”
What does my faith do in the spirit realm?
Jesus calls believing the work of God…
“Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.” John 6:29
My faith needed to be in Christ alone, and that belief would accomplish the will of God.
In the physical realm it was a time of silence; we heard no news or updates about baby Kayla.
Our arms and her crib remained empty.
It was then that God reminded me of the “word” I received from the woman at the Joyce Meyer conference.
I went to my Bible and took out the written copy from between the pages in the book of Daniel. It had been a long time since I read it, and now almost two years later, that “word” had new meaning.
“God is saying I have taken you through these trials in the past two years…”
Two years ago that didn’t really make sense, but now these past two years were filled with trials, they were “very trying times.”
And now the last line also took on great significance…
“I am returning my joy to you because of your faithfulness to me.”
“God, when this “word” came to me two years ago I didn’t understand this promise. I wasn’t sure what “my joy” was. Now, the only thing I can think of is the joy of baby Kayla. Is this “word” a promise to hold onto as I believe for Kayla’s return?”
And then I looked at the date…
10/27/01
That “word” came to me in October. God had said “in the past 2 years”
It was incredible how specifically it lined up with the circumstances I was in. So incredible that despite the silence and the emptiness, I chose to believe every word God had written to me and I trusted in His perfect timing.
I held firmly to the “word” that said He would return His joy to me and that it would come in October of that year, 2003.
Yes, I still had doubts.
But I pushed away those doubts with the word of God.
I meditated on these three verses through the entire journey…
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” James 1:2
“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,” Ephesians 3:20
These verses were constant reminders that as I seek God, spend time delighting in Him, and put my faith in Christ alone, God’s desires will become my desires. But, those desires will be challenged with trials that are intended to purify and refine me so that I am prepared and equipped to receive the desires God has for me. And as I persevere through the trials, as I choose to believe no matter what I see or don’t see in the physical realm, I am encouraged that God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above and beyond anything I could think or imagine!
Yes, there were others who told me to let her go, perhaps they were attempting to protect my heart from more pain.
But, I couldn’t let go.
And I’m so glad I didn’t…
When I think back I realize I could have “bowed down” to the way things looked in the physical realm and allowed doubt and unbelief to bring me to hopelessness.
Hopelessness doesn’t move mountains!
Bringing those verses to mind when I began to doubt was a matter of my will. I could have allowed my thoughts to become overwhelmed with hopelessness and blamed God for being too late.
The “word” from the woman at the conference could have been received with unbelief, since it really didn’t make sense at the time. It could have been thrown away, or lost and forgotten.
I could have been so upset and offended with God when the speaker came in and talked about giving birth to your dreams that I didn’t wait for her to come back around and pray another prayer over me to hear what God had to say.
I could have been so hurt and angry about the message from Kayla’s foster mom that I couldn’t hear God’s gentle whisper when He whispered the verse that brought peace. My hurt and anger could have sent me back to the store, returning the unopened crib.
Unbelief hinders God’s will.
“Now He did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief.” Matthew 13:58
“So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20
Believing was hard work!
October couldn’t come soon enough!
September 4th I received a phone call from the state asking if I would take a foster baby. Since we had opened our home for foster care in hopes to adopt we were on the list to take in foster children. The case worker said there was a 7 month old baby girl who needed to be placed, would we be willing to take her? “Yes,” how could I say, “No”? But, then she told me that the baby actually had many siblings and they are hoping to keep the baby with her three year old sister. By now I was caught up in the conversation, wanting to help in any way I could. So, when I hung up the phone I had said “Yes” to two little girls. I hadn’t even considered the fact that October was just one month away and I was believing baby Kayla would be returned. Where would she sleep? My house would be full with those two girls.
Even years later I don’t understand the big picture as to why God brought those little girls into our home for five months, but they brought so much joy to our whole family! I believe it was all part of preparing us, equipping us, and filling our home and our hearts with joy!
But, in spite of the busyness and joy of having those two girls, I held onto the “word” and never stopped praying and believing for baby Kayla to be returned.
October 2, the month had just begun! I received a phone call from Kayla’s foster mom…
The state had finally been able to go and check on Kayla. While they were there they found reason to immediately remove her from the home where she had been placed. She would be back in her foster home that afternoon!! I scooped up the two girls and went to see baby Kayla!!
God’s joy had been returned!
Again, God gently whispered, Wilma, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?”
Baby Kayla was back! She wasn’t home, but she was back!!
God always has a greater story for a greater glory!