“God, You Alone Know”

I want to be like Ezekiel when faced with impossible situations. I want to be able to answer, “God, You alone know,” and then trust Him to tell me how to respond. I don’t want to rely on my own understanding and take things into my own hands. I don’t want to rely on man’s report, or the ways of the world. I want to wait on God, trust in His words, and respond in obedience to His will.

Fifteen years ago I faced a situation that I never even considered what God had to say. I didn’t seek God first. I didn’t ask Him what I should do. I relied on my own understanding. I did what man said I should do. I have regrets, but God has been gracious and has taught me many things on this journey through the years.

It was a normal check up. The doctor was pressing on my neck and spending some time poking around my throat. I had no idea at the time that he was checking the size of my thyroid. He finally stood up and said that my thyroid seemed to be enlarged. I didn’t really know what that meant, but I did remember that my father’s relatives had some thyroid issues and I told the doctor that it was “in the family.” He then listed some symptoms asking if I had any of them. Yes, now that he mentioned them, many of them were true of how I felt. He gave me the name of an endocrinologist and I scheduled an appointment. Sure enough, he diagnosed me with hypothyroidism due to Hashimoto’s disease. Okay, I had never heard of that disease, but I had heard of hypothyroidism and I knew it was a condition that  would never get better and that I would need to be on medication the rest of my life. I was given a prescription, took the medication, and had my levels checked until the correct dose was reached. I do remember, however, soon after I was diagnosed thinking to myself, “Some day I believe I will be healed.”

Several years went by and one evening Kayla and I were coming home from visiting my parents in Pennsylvania. Kayla was young so we stopped for dinner at a Mc Donald’s that had a play area. While we were eating I noticed a mother of several young boys at the table beside us. They also prayed before they ate and when Kayla ran off to play the same time her boys did, she and I began to talk. I don’t remember many details of our conversation, but I do remember we talked for over two hours and for being complete strangers we discussed some deep, personal topics. One of them being my thyroid disease. I found her very fascinating and as part of her job with counseling she believed that many diseases had spiritual roots. I heard that before and I personally had been diagnosed with arthritis that was healed instantly when I confessed a root of bitterness. So when she said that holding in emotion, especially anger, is often the root cause for thyroid disease it made a lot of sense. I knew I held my emotions in, I never really learned how to express emotion. Was this causing my disease? I left Mc Donald’s that night knowing that I just experienced a divine encounter. But, I didn’t know what to do with what I had just heard. All I knew to do was to ask God to show me more about it and wait on Him.

About two years later the Ancient Paths Seminar came to our church, the seminar I wrote about in my blog, “Restored.” Looking back this was all part of God’s plan to bring revelation and healing. The restoration God did at that seminar set me free to express my emotion and to speak my convictions.

Then there was the day when I became curious and  began to search for information about Hashimoto’s disease, the disease I knew nothing about.

I started by Googling Hashimoto’s and found…

The Mayo Clinic described… “Hashimoto’s disease is a condition in which your immune system attacks your thyroid, a small gland at the base of your neck below your Adam’s apple.”

I read through many web sights about Hashimoto’s and auto-immune system diseases. While the medical field has no known causes of Hashimoto’s and no known cures, many sights documented that compromised immune systems respond positively to love.

Hummm…God is love…we are created in God’s image! Lord, show me more…

It was during this time that I also discovered Dr. Caroline Leaf. Her faith in God, years of scientific study of the brain, and the ways she communicates the truths of the two, challenged me with the power of my thoughts over my life, over my body. All this research and Dr. Caroline Leaf’s comment that 75-98% of all illness is the result of our thinking, caused me to reconsider my response to my diagnosis.

I began to look at my “dead” thyroid and my compromised immune system differently.

I began to ask God…”Can my thyroid live again?” “Can my compromised immune system become re-aligned?”

I began to realize there may be a different answer than what I believed for many years.

My prayers for healing were being answered, but rather than instant healing, God had some things He wanted me to understand about this disease and the power of my thoughts and the power of my words.

I’m convinced that one of the ways God uses to reveal His truth to us is through the lies of the enemy.  It is through the strategies meant to harm us that God works all things together for our good. Physical pain can be the very thing that brings us to our knees, humbled before our Creator who knows us intimately, loves us unconditionally, and wants to form us into the image of Christ. It can be the very thing that gets our attention so that God can expose the lies of the enemy and replace them with His truth. It is a reminder that my spiritual life and my physical body are inseparable.

“Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.” Proverbs 3:7-8

It was a Holy Spirit set-up!

All this new revelation of Hashimoto’s disease fresh in my mind and the offense I wrote about in, “Nothing can Separate You from the Love of God,” and “My Shame is Undone” were the “pain” God used to get my full attention. I will never forget that day because not only was my cloak of shame replaced with Christ’s robe of righteousness, but the Lord showed me truths about my thyroid disease.

My spiritual life was renewed when God revealed the lie I believed, that I was no good, and was set free from the bondage to fear, control, comparison, jealousy… shame.

But God also showed me that lie affected my physical body.

Because I saw myself as bad, I attacked myself with wrong thoughts about myself, with wrong words about myself.

So, in my physical body my immune system responded in a similar way. Though there was nothing wrong with my thyroid, my immune system thought it was bad and kept it under attack.

I was amazed! It all made sense! I was undone in God’s revelation!

Could this really be the truth I needed to believe in order to receive the healing I so desperately wanted?

Was this the truth that would give me thoughts of life to think over my body?

Was this the truth that would give me words of life to speak over my body?

I was convinced I was healed…

I don’t recommend this for anyone, but my faith in God’s healing was so strong I stopped taking my medication that very day. I felt fine; I had no typical hypothyroid symptoms. But, as time went by I wanted to know for sure that I was healed. The only way to know for sure is by a blood test. So, about nine months after stopping my medication I saw a sign in Ringwood that a SMAC test was being offered. I decided that would be the way to prove God’s healing. The day after I had the test I received a phone call…


Something New!!

Sometimes God shows me something during my time with Him or throughout my day that I find encouraging and just want to write it down and share it with you as well.

So, I have now added Spontaneous Devotions to this web sight. On your computer you’ll find it on the lower left under About. On your phone/ iPod  just click on the three lines in the upper right and scroll to About. 

Hope you enjoy this spontaneous addition to this blog! Please feel free to share your thoughts or God stories so others can be encouraged as well.

Dry Bones

As I’ve been pondering the power of words I realized that I can speak words that seem true from my perspective, but are they truth? I have seen there is a difference between what I believe is true and what God says is truth.

If this is so, can I limit the outcome of my situations by relying on what I believe to be true?

Do I limit my life by speaking words within my own understanding, within my own experiences?

God took Ezekiel to the valley of dry bones; and as Ezekiel looked around God asked him if those bones could live again. I find Ezekiel’s answer profound. Ezekiel didn’t give an answer with words from his own understanding; He didn’t answer with words from an earthly perspective. Obviously in the physical realm there was no way those dry, dead bones could live again. But Ezekiel chose instead to answer, “You alone know the answer to that.” He realized there was a truth that went beyond possibility in the physical realm. His answer left room for God’s truth to come forth. It didn’t put limits on what could happen, and it allowed for God to speak to him about the dry bones.

Ezekiel’s answer invited God to decide what could take place in that valley, what could become of those dry bones.

And so God answered and told Ezekiel to speak His word over the dry bones.

“So I spoke this message, just as he told me. Suddenly as I spoke, there was a rattling noise all across the valley. The bones of each body came together and attached themselves as complete skeletons. Then as I watched, muscles and flesh formed over the bones. Then skin formed to cover their bodies, but they still had no breath in them.

Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to the winds, son of man. Speak a prophetic message and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, O breath, from the four winds! Breathe into these dead bodies so they may live again.’” 

 So I spoke the message as he commanded me, and breath came into their bodies. They all came to life and stood up on their feet—a great army. Ezekiel 37:7-10 

Oh the mighty power of God’s truth, God’s words of life spoken through the mouth of a man!

By looking to God for the answer Ezekiel was ready and available to be God’s spokesman. He was anticipating God’s answer and was obedient to speak the words God gave him. Because of this he witnessed a most amazing miracle!

How often have I looked at a situation in my life that was just like those dead, dry, scattered bones and thought, “There is no way those bones can live again!”?

How often have I based my belief, my answer, my expectations, on what I saw in the physical realm?

How often have my words of death, based on my own understanding and past experiences, kept me from the life God intends for me?

How many miracles have I missed out on?

What if…we would respond as Ezekiel did when we face dead, dry situations in life?

What if…when we look over the dead, dry bones we don’t consider the impossibility of the situation?

What if… we don’t limit our belief based on what we see?

What if… we don’t speak words of death based on our own understanding and past experiences?

What if we look at our dead, dry situations and choose to look up to God and say to Him,

“You alone know the answer to that.”?

What would it look like to allow God alone to speak into our dead situations? What if we would wait on Him to guide our thoughts, to form our words, to direct our paths? What miracles would we get to experience as God breathed life into our dead situations?

Lord, please forgive me for my fear from what I see, for my doubt when facing this dead, dry, situation. Lord, forgive me for limiting You with my words of death, for responding in my own understanding, for taking control to find answers on my own.

Lord, I choose to allow You to determine what You want to do in this impossible situation. I acknowledge that You alone know the answer. Please put Your words of truth, Your words of life, into my mouth that I may speak according to Your will.

I believe You have a greater purpose in what I am facing and I want the fullness of all You have planned. I believe there is an army rising up on the other side of this situation filled with life and with power that will gain much victory for the kingdom of God!

Thank You, Lord, for Your forgiveness, for Your grace and, for Your mighty power that will bring about an incredible miracle for Your glory and praise! Amen.

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20

Time for an Upgrade!

Today was the last day of my fast onto worship, and it was the most difficult day of the whole month! I have a cold so I felt pretty miserable. I had a really sore muscle so I couldn’t really dance, just kind of shuffled. And I was feeling bad about the words I spoke this morning.

But there I was in my living room with worship music playing, totally not into it at all. I knew I needed to push through my flesh, no matter what. So I shuffled around the room, half-heartedly singing along with the songs.

Then I began to think more about the words I spoke this morning. As I pondered them, and the motive behind them I began to realize that the words I spoke were good words. I intended for them to be words of life, but they weren’t received as I intended them. I asked God about what I had said, and He affirmed my words and showed me that my words of life won’t always be received with the intention that I speak them. There will be times when others respond in ways that cause my words to look as though they were words of death. When this happens the enemy will use the response of others to condemn and accuse me. To cause me to feel bad about what I said and to keep me from saying the very words of life that are needed in the situation. I realize this is a very fine line because I don’t always know for sure what my motives and my intentions are. But the Lord showed me that whenever I get that heavy feeling and I’m not sure about the intentions of my words, He is ready and willing to show me.

Once I realized it was the enemy condemning me, causing me to believe what I said was “wrong”…

Once I realized it was his accusations that kept me feeling as though I was “bad”…

Once I realized it was his strategy to keep me from speaking words of life over that situation…

Once I realized he was stealing life from this situation…

something rose up within me and I went to battle in the spirit realm. As David said to Goliath when he went out to fight the enemy of the people of God…

“David replied to the Philistine, “You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies—the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” 1 Samuel 17:45 

The enemy may come against me with accusations, condemning me for my words, but they are just threats to keep me from the victory God has for this situation. They are just words of death meant for my harm and for the harm of those around me. I don’t need to listen to them. I don’t need to fear them. I can fight this battle in the spirit realm with words of truth and words of life that will win this battle and will bring glory to God!

“And everyone assembled here will know that the Lord rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the Lord’s battle, and he will give you to us!” 1 Samuel 17:47

So I battled against the enemy’s accusations and lies with words of truth, words of life!

Praise God, all condemnation and accusations fell to the ground, and were replaced with hope and assurance from God that He intends good to come from this!

Wow, and to think my flesh didn’t want to worship this morning!

Sometimes things that were once good need an upgrade!






I thought this fast unto worship would be for a month – something different that I would enjoy – and then go back to my regular way of spending quiet time with God.

Well, this afternoon while I was loading wood on the wood pile God spoke to me about this. I was thanking Him for how much better I was feeling out in the fresh, snowy air, even my muscle that was so painful this morning was feeling better. I guess my thanking Him reminded me that this was my last day of my fast and as soon as I thought that, God so clearly said to me,

“This is not your last day. This fast has been the beginning of the way I want you to spend every day. It is the way I want you to do warfare, the way I want you to fight your battles.”

I smiled. That is so God!!

I have always been a writer. I have journaled during my quiet times for the last 25 years. I have a huge box of journals in the basement to prove it! And a huge callous on my finger as well!

But the Lord is saying  that what I wrote about in the secret place, in the quiet times, were seeds of preparation. Like seeds buried in the dirt that are filled with life, and hold potential for a great harvest. Those words have been watered and they are ready to burst out of the ground, to come out into the light. They are to be spoken into the atmosphere, and once they are in the atmosphere they will fight in the spirit realm in ways words on a page never could.

If you read my blog, “Restored,” you will know that the enemy stole my voice when I was young, by planting the lie that I wouldn’t fit in if I spoke up for my convictions. Since there is power of death and life in the tongue, I see why the enemy takes advantage of situations when we are young to steal our voices.

I think many of us have…

believed the lies of the enemy,

have been defined by the word curses spoken over us,

and have conformed to the world’s ways.

Fear has caused us to speak negative words, words of death. We hold back our true selves, we continue to speak the negative word curses that have defined us, and we speak the words of the unbelieving world around us.

We have lost the voice God intends for us.

The voice meant to speak life over ourselves and over those around us.

There has been much teaching in the church today and many songs written about realizing the truth of who we are in Christ. It is definitely a good word. For too long the church has seen herself through the eyes of religion instead of relationship. But, it isn’t something we can hear once, believe it, and live it.

Living in the fulness of who we are in Christ comes by aligning our beliefs, our thoughts, our words, and our actions according to the truth of God.

May we have a heart like David, filled with the fear of God, to fight the enemy of our souls with the truth of God, and with a tongue that holds within it the power of life!


Power of Words

This fast onto worship through song and dance has caused me to ponder the power of praise. There have been books written about the power of praise filled with testimonies of prayers that were changed from pleading for answers, to praising God for the good He intends from the situation. When words of praise and thanksgiving call forth what isn’t as though it were, the miraculous happens.

This is what I was pondering as I was worshipping one morning.

What makes praise so powerful?

What God told me is so profound and has lead me on a search for greater understanding and application in my own life!

God reminded me of this verse…

Proverbs 18:21 says,

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue,” 

Our tongues set things into motion!

There is power in our words!

Words are never just words, they are never neutral.

 They speak death or they speak life.

God reminded me of the angels that praise Him day and night with words of life.

“Day after day and night after night they keep on saying, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty— the one who always was, who is, and who is still to come.” Revelation 4:8

But not only do the angels worship and praise God continually, He wants us to as well.

“Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name.” Hebrews 13:15

David, a man after God’s own heart, knew the importance of speaking words of life when he said…

“I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises.” Psalm 34:1

That morning when I was worshipping God He showed me that it is actually the power of words that encourage me and bring me such joy when I am in His presence. When I sing words that praise and glorify Him, when I read aloud God’s word, and when I pray for others, those words of life go into the atmosphere. They enter my ears, go into my mind, down into my heart, and then flow throughout my body. Those words of life actually bring life to me, to my every cell!

Those words of life have the power to literally change me from the inside out!

Words of life bring life!

“In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone.” John 1:1-4

Jesus is the Word of God.

The Bible is the written Word of God.

So God is the source of words of life, truth.

The other voice,

Satan is the source of words of death, lies

And because there is no other source of words…

There are no neutral words.

Wow, this is a wake up call to cause me to consider my words…

This helps me understand why the time of worshipping God through song and dance brings such joy and empowers me as I go throughout my day.

It also helps me understand why worship is such a battle between my spirit and my flesh. Satan hates life and will use any strategy to keep me from the words of life that will change me and empower me for God’s glory.

As a child of God, alive in Christ, filled with the Holy Spirit, the source of my words should be God. My words should speak life. They should be truth.

“People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!” James 3:7-10

Okay, so I’m not alone in this dilemma. God realizes that on my own I can’t tame my tongue. He knows that blessing and cursing will come from my mouth. But, He lets me know that it’s not right. It’s not what He wants of me. So, if it’s not right there must be a way to speak what is right. God never asks us to do something that He won’t enable us to do.

So, how do I speak words of life?

I believe it is similar to the way a baby learns to speak. Who the baby spends time with, who he listens to, will determine what the baby says. Babies learn by imitating. For the most part we continue this process the rest of our lives. What we listen to, who we spend time with, still have great influence over us. We will imitate those around us.

Who do I spend time with? Who do I listen to? Who am I imitating? What words am I saying?

This concept of influence is something I have known forever, but sometimes a well-known truth comes and penetrates to a deeper level.

I know there is much more to ponder concerning the power of words. The Lord has shown me some things about what I can do with the words of death I have spoken in the past, and ways He wants to redeem and restore them.

Also, the Lord has shown me ways we are affected by self-talk. I challenge you to take some time this week to think about the words you say about yourself. It may be a good idea to write down some of the words that you find yourself saying over and over.

Words come from a source, they become a habit, and depending on the source you will either live the abundant life God intends for you, or you will live in the harm the enemy means for you.

I expect there will be several more blog entries about the power of words! Thanks for joining along! Would love to hear your comments. I’m sure I’m not alone in this dilemma of considering the power of my words.