The results from the SMAC test were confirmed by the blood test at my doctor’s visit. My doctor said I needed to go back on medication again, so I did as she prescribed. It was humbling to go back to friends and family and tell them I wasn’t healed. I wasn’t sure what to think, how to feel, so I just put healing back up on the shelf for another time.

That time came about two years later when once again I began to consider healing and I took it down off the shelf. I found myself thinking about my response to the phone call I received from the nurse. I realized I reacted in fear. I remembered that once again, just as when I was first diagnosed, I never even asked God about it. I didn’t “seek Him first.” I wondered what would have happened if I had asked God about it.

What if the “good” God intended for me from the harm of the Hashimoto’s was that I would become aware of my fears so I could confess them, and be free from them? 

What if the “good” God intended was so I would learn to seek Him first in everything? Trust Him always?

By reacting in fear of man’s report, and not taking it to God to see what He had to say, was I putting my trust in man rather than God?

When I didn’t seek God first, was I living life independent of Him? Was I making myself as god, trusting in myself instead of relying on Him?

I knew the Holy Spirit was convicting me…

Once I confessed those sins, a faith rose up within me even stronger to believe for healing. I researched auto immune system diseases again and was reminded there is no known cause why the immune system attacks the good things in our bodies, stress often brings compromise and inflammation, and I even read that love and security have been proved to bring healing!

This was the time God showed me the verse from Acts when Peter had a vision from God…

“…and saw heaven opened and an object like a great sheet bound at the four corners, descending to him and let down to the earth. In it were all kinds of four-footed animals of the earth, wild beasts, creeping things, and birds of the air. And a voice came to him, “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.” But Peter said, “Not so, Lord! For I have never eaten anything common or unclean.” And a voice spoke to him again the second time, “What God has cleansed you must not call common.” Acts 10:11-15

For so long I thought “I was no good” and had called what God had made good, “bad.” Was this a trial brought on by believing a lie?

Did believing the lie that “I was no good,” thinking wrong thoughts and speaking wrong words over myself bring…

compromise to my immune system, Hashimoto’s disease? Compromise in my spiritual life? 

Did compromise result in fear…

causing me to listen to man’s report and rely on man’s ways, not trusting God,

Did my lack of trust in God bring about…

independence of God, not seeking Him and therefore making myself as god?

With every test we have the opportunity to respond in two different ways.

We can listen to the voice of the enemy or we can listen to the truth of God.

Job could have listened to the voice of the enemy as he was counseled by his wife and his friends. He could have cursed God and died, or he could have lived under condemnation of sin, believing his sin caused his trial. Neither one would have brought him relief, neither would have allowed him to see God as he never had before, or would have restored him double all he had.

Jesus could have listened to the voice of the enemy and taken care of Himself and proved Himself, and forfeited His worship, but obviously, that would have jeopardized all He was, all He was intended to accomplish.

What are the consequences of listening to the voice of the enemy?

For me, in this test, listening to the lies of the enemy kept me believing I was no good and kept me living a life of compromise, physically and spiritually.

I believe it brought compromise to my immune system causing Hashimoto’s disease, and kept me in bondage to medication that had other affects on my body that weren’t for my good.

It kept me looking to man’s ways to treat something that had a spiritual root. I was trusting in medication to keep me healthy, when in fact living with a lie was harming me more that I could ever know.

Choosing to seek God, to listen to His voice of truth, and trusting in what He said changed everything!

Believing the truth that I have been made good and by changing my thoughts and my words about myself has been life-changing. It has opened my heart and mind to see myself as worthy, valuable to God. Living without compromise, I have a confidence I never had before, and with that confidence I am free to do what God has created me to do. There are things that He has for me that I am finding so rewarding, so satisfying!

Though I have experienced several types of healing I find there are no set answers. Each healing has left its mark on my life in a significant way that has caused me to see God in ways I’ve never seen Him before. This has been a long journey of testing my faith. If I had been instantly healed I wouldn’t have seen the fears, compromise, and independence I needed to confess and strip off. I realize not everyone agrees with the purposes of suffering. But when I consider that God works all things together for my good, I have to believe that He is using this strategy meant for my harm, this physical suffering that has spiritual roots, with the intent for my good.

I don’t believe God sent Hashimoto’s to me for God is the Giver of all good gifts. I believe it is the result of my wrong thinking from the deception of the enemy. And I believe it is the thing God is using to purify and refine me.

I know that God is for me. I believe His love for me is beyond my understanding. But I also have lived long enough to understand that God’s love doesn’t always look like love, feel like love. I’m learning that God’s love for me goes beyond my understanding, and way beyond my comfort. Because He is for me, because He loves me, God wants me to be who He created me to be to fulfill the destiny He has for me. If there are lies, fears, doubts… that are hindering me from running the race He wants me to run, keeping me compromised so that I can’t live fully the abundant life He has for me, He will strip them from me. God’s love for me is a jealous love that wants more than anything that I seek Him first and trust Him completely! I believe this is a test to do just that.

So, what the enemy meant for harm, God intends for good!

This is my “test”imony of the journey of faith I am on. It has been eight months since I once again stopped taking my medication. I haven’t had a blood test since. I have had fears surface that I have confessed along this journey. It is my heart’s desire that this journey of faith strips off all God intends and enables me to run the race God has set before me, keeping my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith!


If you want to further reach autoimmune system disorders one web sight I found that lined up with what God was showing me is…

What is happening spiritually when the body attacks itself? markdeJesus.com



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