“God, You Alone Know”

I want to be like Ezekiel when faced with impossible situations. I want to be able to answer, “God, You alone know,” and then trust Him to tell me how to respond. I don’t want to rely on my own understanding and take things into my own hands. I don’t want to rely on man’s report, or the ways of the world. I want to wait on God, trust in His words, and respond in obedience to His will.

Fifteen years ago I faced a situation that I never even considered what God had to say. I didn’t seek God first. I didn’t ask Him what I should do. I relied on my own understanding. I did what man said I should do. I have regrets, but God has been gracious and has taught me many things on this journey through the years.

It was a normal check up. The doctor was pressing on my neck and spending some time poking around my throat. I had no idea at the time that he was checking the size of my thyroid. He finally stood up and said that my thyroid seemed to be enlarged. I didn’t really know what that meant, but I did remember that my father’s relatives had some thyroid issues and I told the doctor that it was “in the family.” He then listed some symptoms asking if I had any of them. Yes, now that he mentioned them, many of them were true of how I felt. He gave me the name of an endocrinologist and I scheduled an appointment. Sure enough, he diagnosed me with hypothyroidism due to Hashimoto’s disease. Okay, I had never heard of that disease, but I had heard of hypothyroidism and I knew it was a condition that  would never get better and that I would need to be on medication the rest of my life. I was given a prescription, took the medication, and had my levels checked until the correct dose was reached. I do remember, however, soon after I was diagnosed thinking to myself, “Some day I believe I will be healed.”

Several years went by and one evening Kayla and I were coming home from visiting my parents in Pennsylvania. Kayla was young so we stopped for dinner at a Mc Donald’s that had a play area. While we were eating I noticed a mother of several young boys at the table beside us. They also prayed before they ate and when Kayla ran off to play the same time her boys did, she and I began to talk. I don’t remember many details of our conversation, but I do remember we talked for over two hours and for being complete strangers we discussed some deep, personal topics. One of them being my thyroid disease. I found her very fascinating and as part of her job with counseling she believed that many diseases had spiritual roots. I heard that before and I personally had been diagnosed with arthritis that was healed instantly when I confessed a root of bitterness. So when she said that holding in emotion, especially anger, is often the root cause for thyroid disease it made a lot of sense. I knew I held my emotions in, I never really learned how to express emotion. Was this causing my disease? I left Mc Donald’s that night knowing that I just experienced a divine encounter. But, I didn’t know what to do with what I had just heard. All I knew to do was to ask God to show me more about it and wait on Him.

About two years later the Ancient Paths Seminar came to our church, the seminar I wrote about in my blog, “Restored.” Looking back this was all part of God’s plan to bring revelation and healing. The restoration God did at that seminar set me free to express my emotion and to speak my convictions.

Then there was the day when I became curious and  began to search for information about Hashimoto’s disease, the disease I knew nothing about.

I started by Googling Hashimoto’s and found…

The Mayo Clinic described… “Hashimoto’s disease is a condition in which your immune system attacks your thyroid, a small gland at the base of your neck below your Adam’s apple.”

I read through many web sights about Hashimoto’s and auto-immune system diseases. While the medical field has no known causes of Hashimoto’s and no known cures, many sights documented that compromised immune systems respond positively to love.

Hummm…God is love…we are created in God’s image! Lord, show me more…

It was during this time that I also discovered Dr. Caroline Leaf. Her faith in God, years of scientific study of the brain, and the ways she communicates the truths of the two, challenged me with the power of my thoughts over my life, over my body. All this research and Dr. Caroline Leaf’s comment that 75-98% of all illness is the result of our thinking, caused me to reconsider my response to my diagnosis.

I began to look at my “dead” thyroid and my compromised immune system differently.

I began to ask God…”Can my thyroid live again?” “Can my compromised immune system become re-aligned?”

I began to realize there may be a different answer than what I believed for many years.

My prayers for healing were being answered, but rather than instant healing, God had some things He wanted me to understand about this disease and the power of my thoughts and the power of my words.

I’m convinced that one of the ways God uses to reveal His truth to us is through the lies of the enemy.  It is through the strategies meant to harm us that God works all things together for our good. Physical pain can be the very thing that brings us to our knees, humbled before our Creator who knows us intimately, loves us unconditionally, and wants to form us into the image of Christ. It can be the very thing that gets our attention so that God can expose the lies of the enemy and replace them with His truth. It is a reminder that my spiritual life and my physical body are inseparable.

“Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.” Proverbs 3:7-8

It was a Holy Spirit set-up!

All this new revelation of Hashimoto’s disease fresh in my mind and the offense I wrote about in, “Nothing can Separate You from the Love of God,” and “My Shame is Undone” were the “pain” God used to get my full attention. I will never forget that day because not only was my cloak of shame replaced with Christ’s robe of righteousness, but the Lord showed me truths about my thyroid disease.

My spiritual life was renewed when God revealed the lie I believed, that I was no good, and was set free from the bondage to fear, control, comparison, jealousy… shame.

But God also showed me that lie affected my physical body.

Because I saw myself as bad, I attacked myself with wrong thoughts about myself, with wrong words about myself.

So, in my physical body my immune system responded in a similar way. Though there was nothing wrong with my thyroid, my immune system thought it was bad and kept it under attack.

I was amazed! It all made sense! I was undone in God’s revelation!

Could this really be the truth I needed to believe in order to receive the healing I so desperately wanted?

Was this the truth that would give me thoughts of life to think over my body?

Was this the truth that would give me words of life to speak over my body?

I was convinced I was healed…

I don’t recommend this for anyone, but my faith in God’s healing was so strong I stopped taking my medication that very day. I felt fine; I had no typical hypothyroid symptoms. But, as time went by I wanted to know for sure that I was healed. The only way to know for sure is by a blood test. So, about nine months after stopping my medication I saw a sign in Ringwood that a SMAC test was being offered. I decided that would be the way to prove God’s healing. The day after I had the test I received a phone call…


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *